Theatre Humour

These are all shamelessly stolen from other places, I'm just not that original.

Theatre Hierarchy

Director:
Leaps Tall Buildings In A Single Bound
Is More Powerful Than A Locomotive
Is Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
Walks On Water
Gives Policy To God

Lampies / Soundies:
Leaps Short Buildings In A Single Bound
Is More Powerful Than A Switch Engine
Is Just As Fast As A Speeding Bullet
Walks On Water If The Sea Is Calm
Talks With God

Set Builders:
Leaps Short Buildings With A Running Start
Is Almost As Powerful As A Switch Engine
Is Faster Than A Speeding BB
Swims Well
Is Occasionally Addressed By God

Priniciples:
Makes High Marks On The Wall When Trying To Leap Buildings
Is Run Over By Locomotives
Can Sometimes Handle A Gun Without Inflicting Self-Injury
Dog Paddles
Talks To Animals

Chorus Members:
Runs Into Buildings
Recognizes Locomotives Two Out Of Three Times
Is Not Issued Ammunition
Can Stay Afloat With A Life Preserver
Talks To Walls

Ushers:
Falls Over Doorsteps When Trying To Enter Buildings
Says, "Look At The Pretty Choo-Choo!"
Wets Self With Water Pistol
Plays In Mud Puddles
Mumbles To Self

Stage Manager:
Lifts Buildings And Walks Under Them
Kicks Locomotives Off The Track
Catches Speeding Bullets In Teeth And Eats Them
Freezes Water With A Single Glance
Is God


Random Thoughts

"If all the world's a stage ... then God's a techie."

An actor without a techie is a silent person stood on a dark stage. A techie without an actor is someone with marketable skills.

When deciding how to ask/tell the director something remember it's easier to ask forgivness than permission.

We the willing, lead by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.



Fixing The Confusion

In is down, down is front
Out is up, up is back
Off is out, on is in
And of course-
Left is right and right is left
A drop shouldn't and a
Block and fall does neither
A prop doesn't and
A cove has no water
Tripping is OK
A running crew rarely gets anywhere
A purchase line buys you nothing
A trap will not catch anything
A gridiron has nothing to do with football
Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)
And a green room, thank god, usually isn't
Now that you're fully versed in Theatrical terms,
Break a leg.
But not really.


Further Reading

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